This past week and a half has flown by!!!! Chalrie is 10 weeks old today...WOW! Time is flying by and each day she is growing and changing. I have had such an up and down 10 days.....we saw the peadiatrician who confirmed that Charlie has a milk protien intolerance/allergy as well as the reflux which was causing the blood in her poo and her general unhappiness. Basically she can not process the amino acids that the protien is made up of and her body was having an immune reaction as a result. This meant her tummy and bowel were inflamed and hence the blood etc. It is easy to fix....just eliminate the protiens from her diet. So the options were to go on a really strict diet and see if this worked or stop breast feeding and put her on a special formula. The doctor firstly wanted me to put her onto formula and express and see if she improved. He felt that the best option for Charlie was to stop breast feeding as in his experience the diet has not been very successful. I was so relieved it was something that was easily dealt with and not a major problem BUT I felt so awful that it was my milk making her sick. I also HATED the idea of not breast feeding. Pre baby I decided to breast feed mainly because it was so convienent, it was economical and it is the "best thing to do". Once she was born I loved breastfeeding and felt such a closeness to her that it is hard to describe. It was a truely amazing feeling and I am so thankful to have been able to experience it with Charlie. I was so upset when I gave her the first few bottles and she cried and cried.....so I gave in and breast fed her. Thankfully Ray is a wonderful support and had some time off work to help me get her from breast to bottle. I would just leave the room and he would persist with the bottle despite the tears. After two days she was fine and started to gulp them down! It was amazing to see the difference....she was settled, content and her poos cleared up! She has already put on some weight and looks great!! I am still feeling sad that I am not breast feeding, but I have made the decision to leave her on formula and not try the diet. I could not stand going through getting her on formula to then go back to the breast to then have to turn around and do it again if it did not work. Her health and happiness is much more important and already she seems so much better. I also realised that my supply was quite low....when I was expressing there was not a lot there, so she may have been not getting enough anyway. I am happy with our decision but I am still feeling really sad. People have pointed out all the postives to not breast feeding...like being able to get Ray to help etc but I feel sad when I give her the bottle. I think it is hard to understand the feelings...I am sure other mums know what I am talking about. On the flip side I feel really happy when she gulps down the bottle and gives a huge burp! Haha that is why I said up and down!
We went to mums group today and all the babies were rolling around on the mats looking at each other and trying to roll. Charlie and another baby were holding hands...it was so cute :-) We have been playing more this past week....although all hell breaks loose if I don't pick up on her tired signs. She plays for about 20-30mins and then is pooped...especially if she has been on her tummy trying to hold her head up!
I have been to the gym a few times and managed three runs.....I am up to 7km and am averaging about 5:40/km for the run. I have a sore lower back from poor posture while I hold Charlie....so I am being careful and if it feels too sore I have a rest. I am aiming to get to the gym twice a week to do a body pump class and a fat burner class. Both are fun and cover the whole body. Last friday I did the fatburner class and it was a killer!!! I was so sore the next day....but I loved it! I felt so good having worked really hard and sweated buckets! It is really hard to squeeze things in, but Ray is really good and I head out the door when he gets home. I think he likes getting some time with just he and Chalrie without me hovering around checking what he is doing :-)
I have been back to violin and I am so happy I decided to keep going.....I stink because I am not getting much practice done at all but I enjoy it and I figure as long as I pay my teacher she will be happy ;-) She is pretty understanding and is happy for me to do whatever I can. It was a bit easier this week as Charlie was happy to sit in her chair while I practised.
Not much else to report......I will put some more pictures up soon!
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5 comments:
Hi Kit,
Thanks for your message and now that I have got the whole story from your blog I thought I would comment.
I am sad to hear that you have been forced to stop breastfeeding - though 10 weeks is almost 3 months and that is a GREAT effort.
Every mother goes through the stage of when to work out is best for her/baby to stop and I know how hard it is when the decision is made for you. I have persevered at expressing and have finally settled down into a routine. I would find it extremely hard to have to give up my nightly feed with Billy. It is OUR time together and I just can't imagine that being taken away from me.
Having said that, if it were in his best interests then I guess I would not be selfish and would do the right thing.
With your comment about expressing. some women express very small amounts - I started being able to express only 10ml a day at first. This grew to 20ml a day after a week whilst now I am able to get 200ml with just 10mins every few hours. So don't think for a minute that what you express is the amount Charlie was getting. I am sure she was feeding a lot and getting a lot. It would have been her inability to digest the food that would have caused her to be upset and not put as much weight on. Nothing to do with your milk. I thought it was worth saying in case it makes you consider a different strategy for bub # 2 in the future.
Whilst your post had lots of sad news, the best thing was hearing Charlie is improving and doing well. Having just had a health scare with Billy I can appreciate only too well how the well being of our babies is the first and foremost in our priorities at the moment.
Glad to hear Ray is getting in some bonding time with giving her bottles as well.
I can only suggest now another tip from my mum - when giving her a bottle (now that she is weaned) it is sometimes nice to just sit there in your sports bra and feed her with just her nappy on. The skin touch from both of you gives a closeness that breastfeeding gives and will remind you of the special bonding. Just because she is not feeding from your breast doesn't mean it can't be a special time together.
Take care and hope to hear (and see) more good health news from Charlie.
I just have this wonderful image of mother, violin, happy baby. Something I have never seen! You describe it so well.
Brave mummy. You are doing what you decided was best,and it wasn't an easy decision. I think I would do the same thing as you. And you have breastfed Charlie - no-one feeds forever, so it's only a time-frame thing. Life is too short, and baby is too beautiful for guilt. I was bottle fed from about Charlie's age, and I did not grow up resenting my mother :-).(Hello Mum!)
Love the new blog decor.
Omigosh, look at the time. Too much fun on computer - playing that freerice.com game. Catch ya,
Di.
I think all the people out in cyber land should just be very wary about what they say on this whole breast feeding v;s bottle issue.
Kate, you are a spendlifours mother, truely natural and your beautiful baby daughter is thriving BECAUSE OF YOU!!!, whether you breast feed her or not!!!!!!!
SO everyone out there, the response you need to give my little sister is this "congrats on doing what you do best, being a mummy and the right thing by your child....either decision is a good one, you have done what is right by the both of you, both you and ray and charlie are a beautiful family unit who are thriving on each others love, ya you kate!".......
Trust me, My daughter couldnt feed well, and we had to go to bottle.
The amount of shit out there from people who should refrain from commenting only serves to increase the guilt on what is an already difficult decision. I can tell you this as a health professional, the forumla that they make these days is so close to what breast milk is!
Katie, I love you and think that you are inspirational.
You are a beautiful mother, a great wife and a wonderful sister.
Your training and dedication to running is awesome, and how you manage it all, I take my hat off to you.
Love the new blog format and name,
xxxxxx
BS
I thought I said what she said! Obviously I will have to be more careful to say what I think I mean ;-)
xxx Di
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